Keith, I got it!” replied Jerry, the director of recruiting for a national remodeling company. “I figured out my weakness in my leadership style and communication. My downfall is, I’m one of the guys.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” I inquired?

“If you’re one of the guys, it’s more difficult to draw that line in the sand and set the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior and what is not, both in and outside of the office,” he justified.

“When did you come to this realization?” I asked, curiously.

“When speaking with my boss. She told me, after observing me interact with my team, that I shouldn’t allow myself to be so open or vulnerable by making fun of myself or sharing some of my successes as well as my failures when I was an active recruiter. She said by doing this, there’s no separation between me, as the boss, and the people who report to me. She felt that if I continue to do this, they will not respect me or my opinion.”

“Well, if you allow your team to cross a boundary that you don’t enforce, I can understand her comment. But listening to you, that’s not the case. Besides, knowing you, that’s one of your greatest gifts and attributes: your ability to develop strong relationships, trust and loyalty amongst your team.”

“That’s exactly how I feel!” Jeremy exclaimed.

I continued. “Here’s a new concept I’ve developed called, Vulnerability Based Leadership™.”

How your boss is telling you to act will only succeed in developing more of that superficial trust — the type of trust that does not foster strong relationships nor promote deep trust amongst your team. It prevents people from coming to you with a problem simply because the atmosphere they feel is one that is just not safe to do so. This is the type of trust that’s built upon other people’s self-serving, political agenda.

Conversely, vulnerability based leadership promotes the type of trust every organization strives for. The type of vulnerability I’m suggesting encompasses what you do to cultivate a safe environment to earn trust, to build trust, to reinforce trust and to demonstrate trust within your company and amongst your team.